Creatures of New York

I spent Tuesday night among the Bleacher Creatures in Yankee Stadium: the die-hard Yankees fans there to watch the Bronx Bombers take down the Minnesota Twins 8-4 in the 2017 Wild Card Game.

The Yankees fans were passionate and largely respectful to a guy among them cheering for the Twins (though it helped that after the top of the first inning the Yankees were largely in control). But they were also quite colorful. Below are 12 profane quotes from the fans around my seat in the left field bleachers, evidencing persistent nostalgia for Derek Jeter despite his purchase of the Miami Marlins, super-powered vision capable of discerning balls and strikes from 400 feet away, a strangely intense dislike for Joe Mauer and a confidence level closely linked to the current score.

The ups and downs of the game

“Joe (Girardi), take him the fuck out! You get one out??”
— after Yankees starter Luis Severino gives up three runs in just one-third of an inning of work with the Twins threatening more

“We’re back in it! I thought this game was OVER!”
— one Yankees bro to another, after kissing him on the cheek, following a Yankees rally in the bottom of the first

“This fucking ump sucks.”
— after one of many balls thrown by Twins pitchers that fans in the bleachers were sure were actually strikes

“Dude, what the fuck!”
“Go back! Go back!”
— two friends to a third after he returns from a beer run immediately after Aaron Judge hits a home run to left

Trash talking

“Hey Joey! My mom grows a better playoff beard than you!”
— about Joe Mauer, the most recognizable Twin to play in Tuesday’s game and perhaps for that reason the subject of the lion’s share of the heckling

“Stick to hockey, buddy… you’re fucked, you’re so fucked.”
— midway through the game as the Yankees take a comfortable lead

“Boston sucks!”
— a chant after the win, even though their rival Red Sox are playing the Houston Astros and not the Yankees next

Yankees fan: “Who’s your daddy?”
Me: “Kris Bryant?”
Yankees fan: “…respectable.”

A brief interlude about Yankee Stadium prices

This is a really phenomenal deal if it’s made of actual brontosaurus meat, but a really bad deal otherwise:

brontosaurus ribs

My midmarket craft beers cost $12.50 per glass. The next day I bought a same-day bus ticket from New York City to Washington D.C. for $12.75.

High hopes for the future

“We want Cleveland!”
— chant with two outs in the 9th

“Wouldn’t you like to see Mike Trout up right now? Wouldn’t you like to see him swing the fucking bat?”
— hoping for a future Yankees free agent signing of the best player in baseball


“De-rek Je-ter”
— an attempted chant mid-game with no apparent stimulus

“That’s not a Jeter move, man. I don’t like it.”
— Yankees fan discussing Jeter’s apparent decision to fire many longtime Marlins employees after taking over ownership.

All pictures taken by David H. Montgomery at Yankee Stadium during the 2017 American League Wild Card Game on Tuesday, Oct. 3, 2017. Released under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. Picture of the Mighty Quinn’s menu has been altered to emphasize the “brontosaurus ribs” option.